Pat Dolen

Step into the middle of this board room conversation …”I learned my wife doesn’t care about getting gifts or flowers, she wants me to help out around the house. Oh, not my girlfriend, if I don’t tell her how special she is to me all the time, she thinks something is wrong!” After several female board members piped in about what their beliefs were about their husbands and partners preferences, someone suggesting reading   The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman.

Being a consultant who works with companies with people conflict, I pondered on the “appreciation languages” of my consulting client’s employees…were they hearing the right language?  

How many times had I interviewed employees who were starved for recognition from their manager? Research had reported countless times that money was not a motivator, so what could an employer do?  Most look to books for an idea list of recognition methods, without any idea of what would speak to the individual. 

If Dr. Chapman’s ideas work for love, how about for business?

With my apologies to Dr. Chapman, how about a quiz which flags the primary way our employees want to be recognized at work? 

APPRECIATION LANGUAGE QUIZ

Select your number 1 and number 2 preferred method of appreciation from the choices below.

I feel most valued when a person/manager/co-worker:

1.  ______Tells me how grateful they are for me and the things I do for them or the company
2.  ______ Gives me their focused attention without any interruptions
3.  ______Brings me a gift or other tangible item of appreciation
4.  ______Pitches in to help me, perhaps taking over something that I’m behind on or find routine or boring
5.  ______Expresses positive feelings through acceptable physical contact- like a pat on the back, high-5 or knuckle bump

According to Dr. Gary Chapman’s work, there are 5 Languages.  Learn which top 2 languages make you feel the most valued.

1 = Words of Affirmation

2 = Quality Time

3 = Receiving Gifts

4 = Acts of Service

5 = Physical Touch

This week observe how others are expressing appreciation toward you and others.  Which “language” makes you feel most valued and what happens when someone uses your least preferred language?

Try giving this simple quiz to your employees.  Start speaking their language, feed them with the right kind of appreciation and you’ll notice  productivity soar!

“The best ideas come as jokes.  Make your thinking as funny as possible.”  David Ogilvy

How did Suze Orman’s picture become the focal point of my blog?  A joke.  A throw-away line to lighten up the September ‘09 planning meeting of the speakers for the Texas Women Who Rock.  The Theme was “You and Your Money”.  So, off the cuff I suggested, “wouldn’t it be funny if someone played Suze Orman?” Four pairs of eyes simultaneously drilled into mine, and…a new “Suze” was born.  

Those lost days when my brother, Thom Tydeman and I, played in our living room giving life to imaginary comic book characters, rock stars and the latest Saturday Night Live actors, came back to me.  My creativity and imagination soared!

So, as I take the stage at Texas Children’s Hospital tomorrow as my “Suze Orman” character, I step out of my customary role of  business adviser, executive coach and consultant to companies  looking for communication harmony and productivity. Instead, you’ll meet my” inner comedienne” where I share some  “funnies” from life with  my family and my own imagination on what it must be like to be an icon, like Suze. 

And if you miss the corporate twist to this blog, check out “The Levity Effect: Why it Pays to Lighten Up” by Adrian Gostick and Scott Christopher where they share in their first two chapters, …”If They’re Busting Their Gut. They’ll Bust Their Butts” and …”If They’re Laughing, They’re Listening. “

When I was a young child in the ’50s in New Orleans, I’d watch TV every night just to get a glimpse of our friend, Frank Maguire, reporting the news and weather. I’m told I was quite “mad” at Frank that he didn’t wave back. Frank still laughs about that one.  He’s gone on to accomplish some pretty impressive public things, from serving in the White House with JFK to being the VP of PR for Colonel Sander’s when he was a regular on the Johnny Carson show.  Even as an international speaker inspiring leaders all over the world, Frank’s ease of jumping on a platform to share his story as a founding exec of FEDEX  is conducted with grace and encouragement.  Frank has inspired me in a big way.

What occurred to me today, as the Texas Women Who Rock event  (See Texas Women Who Rock Breakfast Promo) quickly approaches, is how many women and men, who have inspired me, became role models for my aspirations.  Two of my co-presenters have touched my life in an inspirational way and now I am rocking with them!

Donna Fisher, my co-presenter and speaker, author and entrepreneur is going to share how she’s transformed personally and professionally over her career.  My first memory of Donna is when I was in the corporate world almost 20 years ago and recommended her to my company President.   It takes guts to get up there and expose yourself to a group of people who may not “get” you.  Thinking back, I still remember how the President marveled at how quickly she made a connection.   

Karen McCullough and I have fun memories of meeting when she first started her speaking business.  We discussed networking and building referral business…a hot topic of the day.  Not knowing it at the time, I referred her to the first speaking client she ever had!   Attending one of her events a few years later, I appreciated why my client liked her so much…she was great and I was inspired…still am.  

We have enjoyed telling many friends that eight years later I walked into the National Speaker’s Association’s Pro-Track Class and guess who was the Leader? Karen!!  So, yes, your inspiration can become your aspiration. 

Come join us Friday, September 25th by REGISTERING HERE.   

Who has been your inspiration?

Step out of your self-imposed strait jacket, stop repeating the expected and add some fun and balance to your worklife. Whether you are looking for an event that will get your office jazzed or a model of how to put on a great meeting, come join the Texas Women Who Rock September 25, 2009. 

I’ll be the MC and I hope you recognize me! 

ing out in my speaking career and

A guy who viewed himself as one of the most laid-back “happy go-lucky” executives in the world asked himself this question upon recuperating in the hospital from an unexpected bypass heart operation. How could the ticker lose its tock now, when it he had survived the early pressures of the infancy days of FEDEX losing $1million a month and  when Colonel Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken threatened to go on the Johnny Carson show and blow the new CEO out of the water because he planned to change the formula of the gravy!

Frank shares his reflections in: 

PERFECTION VS. EXCELLENCE

Perfection is being right.

Excellence is willing to be wrong.

Perfection is fear.

Excellence is taking a risk.

Perfection is anger and frustration.

Excellence is powerful.

Perfection is control.

Excellence is spontaneous.

Perfection is judgement.

Excellence is accepting.

Perfection is taking.

Excellence is giving.

Perfection is doubt.

Excellence is confidence.

Perfection is pressure.

Excellence is natural.

Perfection is the destination.

Excellence is the journey.

Written by Frank Maguire 

The original Senior Vice President of Industrial Relations for Federal Express, Frank Maguire is credited by
CEO, Fred Smith, as creating the corporate culture that resulted in FEDEX being named “The Top Corporation of the Decade” by Fortune Magazine.

Hiring Method Success

If the problem of NEI “not enough information” gathered by various interview methods produces intermittent results, then what is the solution?  The findings from a 1984 Psychological Bulletin predicted the likelihood of Job Performance Success based on Alternative Hiring Methods. It predicted that an average interviewer just doing interviews and reference checks would most likely hire a good performing employee only 26% of the time!

 The Harvard Business Review cited a career study that shed light on this dilemma.  A group of 360,000 people were studied over a 20 year period in 14 different industries by the PhDs’ Herbert M. and Jeanne Greenburg.  Their findings indicated that “it’s not experience-or college degrees-or other accepted factors…it hinges on the fit of the job”.

 However, if we included the methods of personality testing, abilities testing and interests testing, along with Job Matching, the likelihood of Job Performance Success would increase dramatically to 75% of the time. 

Major Information

 It seems that the hiring methods of many employers result in NEI…”not enough information”. By adding valid, reliable assessment tools measuring objective information that predict hiring success, we avoid making major decisions with minor information.

 Pre-screening applicants for attitudes of integrity, reliability, work ethic and giving an honest day’s work help eliminate risky, dishonest behaviors. It reduces the temptation of the emotional hire and gives us the security of making informed pre-hire decisions.

 My preferred pre-employment survey tool offers interview questions revealing core beliefs of the applicants. Is it okay to take something if they have the good intention of paying for it later? Answers vary. Others believe they should take credit for something, even when they don’t deserve it.  Armed with appropriate follow-up questions, employers are able to determine if the responses reflect that of their policies and desired employee culture. 

 By utilizing job matching technology and building a Job Match from current successful performers, we noticeably increase our probability of hiring motivated, competent and compatible employees who fit our culture and mimic the successful traits of our best performers. 

 After a year of perfecting their company culture, training and development program, a 300 employee client was introduced to the Job Matching technology assessment. The company culture focused on outstanding customer service and client retention.  The implementation goal was to hire, promote and reassign employees during a time of reorganization and extensive hiring.  Within 9 months of using Job Matching technology, the client received their highest Customer Service Rating spanning a 6 month period.  

Challenge your Hiring System.  Do you feel like NEI or TMI when making that hiring decision?  Remember there are various hiring methods to strengthen the process. Avoid the “risky business” of hiring.  Add the right assessment tools providing you the major information you need to increase your Hiring Success!

 ..making major decisions with minor information

 Remember TMI?  An expression used when someone had crossed that communication line and provided “too much information”.  Oftentimes, it meant that the information was “way” too technical, too personal or too detailed for the listener to have the patience or desire to absorb in one (or any) conversation. 

After an employee has failed or disappointed us again, do we ever reflect back to the interview and think did I experience “TMI” or was it more like “NEI”…not enough information?

 Were there red flags we missed? We mentally go through our “good hire checklist”.  They had the right experience, professional demeanor and even a good education and training.  Where had we gone wrong?

If this is the first time, we brush ourselves off promising we won’t let it happen again.  If not, we begin to doubt our abilities to get the “right information” in the interview, or worse, we blame someone or something else.

 Reasons Employees Fail

Let’s review some Hiring Success Basics.  Studies show that the top three reasons people fail are due to:

a) Incompetence

b) Incompatibility

c) Dishonesty

 Which of the three reasons does your company most often experience? When meeting with new clients, the most popular answer received is A or B with a disclaimer that “we usually don’t have a problem with C”.

 Companies advise that they don’t have to worry about reason C because their employees don’t handle money or they are doing background checks…which are effective if the person has been caught.  Repeat fraud offenders represent only 12% of the white collar fraudsters according to the Certified Fraud Examiners Association’s Annual Report in 2004. Quite an alarming statistic!

 What about accepting company work “on the side”, sharing confidential information with competitors or misusing computer data?  Even playing on the computer, cell phone abuse and general carelessness has been coined a new term.  Known as “presenteeism”, it means spending paid work time on any activities but work!

Because business dishonesty = stealing money in most employers’ minds, do not be dissuaded from doing background checks on prospective employees!  They can serve as a legal safety net and provide other necessary and useful information.     

 One Employer’s Story

 One small employer hired a key employee highly recommended for her trustworthiness, performance and drive. The employer recognized the promise and talent of the potential employee, though lacking the usual industry experience. The employer mentored the new hire through some personal challenges initially, until the employee’s focus and productivity returned. Due to health challenges after fourteen months, the employee regretfully quit to convalesce at home. 

Imagine the surprise felt by the staff, when the former employee was spotted at a trade show three months later, as the proud owner of a competitive company!  Imagine MY surprise when I learned my former employee had spun almost a year-long web of deceit resulting in lost company revenue, diverted relationships and, of course, lost time, for my company.

 When relating my unfortunate experience of years ago with other employers, many retort …”want to know what happened to us?”  The stories all began with the phrase …”we had this ____.” It was just a matter of filling in the blank with any title.  The amounts of money, time and resources lost, due to the acts of deception and theft perpetrated, often by those whom the employers had embraced as their hardest working employees, were staggering. 

 Reference Check Hurdles

 Most companies caught unawares indicate that references had been checked.  And today references can be challenging…almost like running the 1 mile hurdle race. 

Tenacity is the name of the game.  Jump those hurdles of former co-workers, peers, employer validations and third party reference checks only.  Don’t be swept up in the emotion of the gushing reference. 

Ask for the former employer who may have been restricted from giving a reference in the past. Call them by using their new company’s main number to locate the “real person”, instead of their cell phone number.  Get former happy and unhappy customers or vendors to tell you how their interactions were handled.  The “diamond in the rough” reference may be right in front of you.

Heading off counteroffers  

Professional recruiters typically pose the counteroffer question ” Have you ever accepted a position in good faith and found that when you turned in your resignation, your company made you a counteroffer?”, to decide if the candidate is worthwhile to represent.  The question lurking behind the question is, if you make a job offer to someone who responded yes to the question, will they accept another counteroffer from their current company after the recruiter’s client company had offered them a new position.  

Is this person’s word to be trusted? Certainly, this is a consideration whether you are a recruiter or a hiring manager for a company.

If they answered yes, be aware! Certain precautions need to be put in place.  Find out more to fully understand the dynamics of the previous situation and mindset of the candidate.  Remember they have already made a verbal agreement that will cause most hiring managers to terminate the interviewing process and begin preparing for the new arrival.    

Suggested follow-up questions are: How lucrative was the offer? How did you handle it with the company who had just hired you? In the long-run, were you happy you made that decision?  Additionally, ask , “How long did you stay with the organization after accepting the counteroffer?  Did it impact your future advancement or opportunities with that organization? 

Jerry Land lends a professional recruiter’s script and point of view on “How to avoid a candidate accepting a counteroffer” in his blog at http://www.ere.net/2006/05/23/how-to-avoid-a-candidate-accepting-a-counteroffer/.

Don’t be blindsided by a counteroffer acceptance two days before your new employee is supposed to be sitting in New Employee Orientation.  Be thorough.  The extra questioning up front will save a ton a regret later and stave off the unexpected check-mate!

Eight Critical Questions    

Knowing the answers to these eight questions, will save you a lot of heartache if you have a serious contender for your top job or if you have someone testing if “the grass is greener on the other side”.  These can be used in a pre-interview situation or be repeated within the first interview to gauge the reaction of the applicant. 

1. What type of commute are you accustomed to?
2. What are your current circumstances which have made you consider a new position?
3. What are the reasons you’ve left position x, y and z?
4. When did you start your search?
5. At what interviewing stage are you at with other job opportunities?
6. Have you received any job offers? Many applicants indicate they have job offers when they only have interviewed or applied to positions online.
7. Have you ever accepted a position in good faith and found that when you turned in your resignation, your company made you a counter-offer?
8. Follow-up questions for a Yes answer: How lucrative was the offer? How did you handle it with the company who had just hired you? In the long-run, were you happy you made that decision?

 If question 1 is asked of an applicant,  who “needs a job”, if a commute of 25 miles to work daily will work for them, the answer will usually be YES!  “That’s no problem!”  A question framed to be answered either yes or no, does not give you information that reflects past behavior.    When the employee quits at 6 months, the exit interviewer will ask the reason for leaving. The answer most likely will be…”the drive is too long”. Could that turnover have been avoided?

Asking about the applicant’s current and past reasons for leaving a position can reveal a number of characteristics about the applicant.  Remember, we routinely may ask this question hundreds of times, yet to the applicant this is very personal.  Be sure to ask and then listen, without interrupting.  Encouraging others by nodding or repeating phrases can help those struggling to collect their thoughts or encourage a more complete response.

 Their answer will be an immediate indicator of how well they organize and communicate thoughts regarding their personal decisions, values, and beliefs about their past performance, business relationships and company culture.  Your position may require good communication skills and presentation, so you’ve had your first glimpse at their skill level.

 Have you ever called your favorite candidate back for a second interview only to find out they just accepted another position?  Put some boundaries around your expectations before you become too hopeful about any one candidate.  By knowing up front how long they’ve searched and if they have any real or potential job offers, you can manage your interviewing schedule and expectations more effectively…and save yourself from a broken heart when you’ve fallen in love with that top candidate that was only “testing the waters.”

“We’ve done lots of research over the past three years, and we’ve found that leaders who have the best coaching skills have better business results.”

V.P. of Global Executive & Organizational Development, IBM -The Dallas Morning News, August 2005

We often hear about setting the example in leadership.  Sometimes it is just taking the “high road” and reacting to a situation with integrity and as much dignity as you can muster.

If you haven’t taken a look at yourself recently, take this simple self-check of 15 coaching behaviors.   Use this scale: 5 = always, 4=usually, 3=sometimes, 2=seldom and 1=never. If you are brave enough, let your trainee rate you.  It may be just the wake-up call you need to regenerate positive momentum in that relationship.

1. _____Set high expectations
2. _____Offer challenging ideas
3. _____Help build self-confidence
4. _____Encourage professional behavior
5. _____Offer friendship
6. _____Confront negative behaviors
7. _____Confront negative attitudes
8. _____Listen to what is said
9. _____Recognize what is not being said
10. _____Add specific activities that you believe would help
11. _____Offer wise counsel
12. _____Provide timely feedback
13. _____Provide positive recognition
14. _____Share personal experiences when appropriate
15. _____Demonstrate care

If you scored 60 – 75, write a book!  You are doing it right and people seek you out for advice and counsel.

If you scored 45-59, share this rating scale with someone you coach and ask where you can improve.  Ask how you can demonstrate the coaching behavior they need from you and what they can do if you forget to do it again.

30-44, get yourself a coach who can help you develop these behaviors.  It will contribute greatly to the success of the group you lead and your own personal contentment.

15-29, what’s your employee turnover rate?  Unless, your employees have enlisted, they are not going to stick around very long!