Pat Dolen

Posts Tagged ‘communication’

Find yourself forgetful, confused or making “mountains out of molehills”?  Possibly the enthusiasm you felt earlier this month is dwindling and you might say you are “unenthused” or even depressed.  Be aware!  You may be experiencing signs of emotional distress.

These symptoms can affect us intellectually (hmmm…lack of concentration?), socially (or…withdrawing from people or events?) and even physically (maybe….clumsiness and excessive eating, drinking and smoking?).

Before these behaviors claim a foothold, develop a few strategies for your own “stress shot”.

1. Talk to a friend or a support person-chances are you are not alone
2. Take action and say NO to excessive demands
3. Prioritize and slow down…breathe!
4. Leave work at a reasonable time, take breaks and exercise!
5. Listen before jumping to conclusions or taking things personally
6. Avoid labeling yourself with harsh names you’d never call anybody else
7. Mentally shout STOP when your focus starts to drift
8. Remove the word SHOULD from your mental vocabulary
9. Ask, will it really matter a year from now?

Focusing on what you can do today to make it a productive day, will bring satisfaction, enjoyment and relief of stress.  Take one strategy that appears to be a challenge and practice it for a whole day.  See what it does for you.  Practice it again tomorrow.  In a short period of time, you will be amazed at the results your stress reduction plan will produce!

Source: ”The Leader’s Guide to Workplace Stress” by Profiles International Inc. Email pat@tydemandolen.com for a copy of this white paper.

While celebrating with my CEO coachee her recognition into the 2011 “40 under 40″  class, the keynote speaker introduced some reflective questions and character-building actions for all leaders. Consider these words of wisdom Jeff Sandefer of ACTON School of Business shared with the top young professionals recognized this year by the Houston Business Journal. 

2) Make a list of  your ” I absolutely will not ___________”.  Store in a desk drawer that is handy to reach, so in times of ethical crossroads you can review your core principles.

3) Who is a someone you have never thanked, that has had a significant impact on your life?  Write a letter to that person.  Then, go to that person and read it to them.  You will be transformed for the several months to come.

These suggestions, if acted upon, (1) will create change, (2) build character and (3) instill gratitude.  Which of these 3 areas in your life are you seeing others lacking?   Now, work the question with the associated number to complete earnestly and sincerely.  Begin to see others changing around you!

Let’s face it, a natural disaster causes retention problems for employers.  Their staff moves and sometimes never returns to their “home”.  After a coastal business had seen their employee count reduced due to a natural disaster and available new employee options thinned out, they were very concerned about keeping the good employees they had! So, we were asked to examine the consistency of their hiring process, profile their top performers for a Talent Audit, and review how effective they were communicating internally.    

How did they review their employees?  “We don’t like our review system at all”, we were told. They had a formalized approach for all of their company employees when assessing their performance.  Their company consisted of executives, management professionals, administrative and production personnel.   Upon closer review, the directors of the company were being assessed as if they were performing the same job as the manufacturing floor personnel…all because someone had provided a template solution.   

It is not uncommon for an appraisal format to be swapped or shared among consultants or companies, with little regard being paid to the impact that it can have on the results the company is achieving.

One Size Does Not Fit All

Many companies I’ve written appraisals for like an interactive conversational style review.  We provide an opportunity for a self-evaluation that the employee completes prior to the appraisal.  There are many advantages to doing so because it:  

• helps to jog the memory of the employer if he has missed any highlights during the year
• reveals the mindset of the employee…what is their perception…did they think they had an exceptional year, average or possibly have areas needing significant improvement?
• reduces the anxiety on both sides of the table, reinforcing the quality of work the employee has accomplished throughout the year

 The Reluctant Reviewer

One employee told me that his supervisor was not a “communicator” and wanted to cover his annual performance appraisal by email…and her office was right next door! 

Not every manager finds that communicating comes naturally.  If an owner finds conversation difficult, I’ll suggest a review where a list of core values, traits or measurable tasks can be reviewed by the employee.  Both the manager and the employee  select from this list ranking each item in order of importance.  This can be a good “icebreaker” to help the manager understand why the employee views his job the way they do.  The manager can then follow up with questions and review the ranking, asking why each was ranked as it was and why they see it that way. 

One manager was considering terminating a long term relationship with an employee he judged as ”having an attitude”.  He interpreted certain behaviors as resistant and rebellious.  After utilyzing the alignment system, the employee-employer relationship transitioned to a new level of understanding and cooperation after experiencing years of misunderstanding.  

Employee Retention Downfalls

Every review has an evaluation scale of some kind whether verbal or numerical.  One of the quickest ways to build resentment which usually leads to a retention issue is to inadequately explain the evaluation scale.  Any ambiguity equates to “I fill in my own interpretation.” 

When a manager rates someone as a 5-6 (meeting expectations) and the employee thinks are a 9-10 (exceptional performance), there is room for confusion and hurt feelings. If the employee understands that “exceptional performance” means there is absolutely no room for improvement and one consistently leads the company/department in this area…the evaluation rating takes on a new light. 

The manager can open up communication channels by asking how the employee believes their performance can reach the higher level.  If they do not know, provide examples as to how the next level of performance can be reached and how you can coach or mentor them.

The quickest way to lose an employee is to take out your anger or disappointment in a review based on something recent that has occurred.  One manager fell victim to a misdirected email regarding their personal policy about mandatory overtime and passively lashed out at the employee by rating an employee harshly in their review.  They revealed later that their overreaction and harsh rating drove a wedge in their business relationship that was never repaired.

Penalizing Performers 

Although forced ranking is a popular management philosophy of the day, I suggest we continue to reward performers at all levels. I was asked this question after speaking at a national convention …” should be a set number of “A, B and C performers “in each department”?  If a manager is doing an exceptional job of hiring and developing Top Performers in his department , why should he be penalized by a company formula limiting the number of A performers he has?

The subject line of the manager’s email reads: Annual Reviews Due!!  At that moment an audible groan is muffled behind every manager’s computer.  Why?

“Review time! We just finished forecasting and budgets!  Now, I’m going to pull more late nights and Saturdays!  There are just too many *%!@*  things to do around here!”

Reviews, appraisals, salary performance reviews or whatever you call the process…tend to sneak up on a manager’s horizon.  Following employee terminations, it could probably be ranked as a manager’s least favorite activity. Conversely, it is one of the most anticipated events of the year for an employee and can have a strong influence on whether a top performer stays or goes.

Why anticipated?  Well, an employee may receive infrequent feedback and wonder how their performance has been perceived. Or, they work remotely and it’s the time of year set to review how they’ve met their goals and to set goals for the new year.  Maybe, they’re waiting to hear if they get a salary increase or not.  But first, you, as the manager, have to get past the “manager dread”.

Manager Dread

Why do managers dread performance appraisals so much?

• Not enough time has been set aside during the year to document performance and whether expectations were exceeded or just average
• There are not regular performance talks (informal or formal) throughout the year, so it feels awkward to address “deep” issues
• There are areas that need improvement with no clear goals, job descriptions or job duties so it appears that the manager is just  “adding more to their job, as needed”
• The employee might ask specific questions about goals that are not measurable, and your review seems  contingent on how you feel about someone 

How can we make performance appraisals better experiences?

• Professionally written job descriptions or guidelines
• Know the traits that it takes to be successful in the position
• Frequent informal communcation with the employee, including talks about performance 

Companies often will be able to tell you what it takes to make them successful, such as their core values and mission statement.  Yet, when it comes to breaking down the values, mission statement and strategies into bite-size parts for the employees to handle, it resembles a jigsaw puzzle fresh from the box.  How can that be avoided?

Next time: “One Employee’s Story” and How to Avoid Turnover

So, you are thinking of acquiring a partner in your business.  Maybe you want a partner to spread the workload or liability.  You could have differing areas of expertise and want to become a “one stop shop”.

Think before you get engaged and sign those final papers! 

As one Company President put it, “a partnership is like a marriage without the good parts.” 

Consider these suggestions, before moving forward as suggested by my TAB Board: 

• Each party invests the same amount of money
• A change in equity equals a change in authority
• You have to trust all parties involved, even minor partners
• An exit strategy must be as clear as possible before entering the partnership
• Be sure a full-fledged business plan is in place, including all stages of the business
• Get a signed management agreement from all parties involved
• Work with an HR consultant to predict behavior and discuss potential hotspots
• Expect to invest 20% more money and 20% more time

These pointers can come in handy even if you are considering a strategic business partnership or affliation.  Because as we all know, “breaking up is so very hard to do.”

When I received the sad news that Frank Maguire, my lifelong friend, mentor and FEDEX founding senior executive had passed away on a business flight, my immediate reaction was one of grief.   What would I miss the most?  The stories of Colonel Sanders and Kentucky Fried Chicken in the early days?  His experience in the White House when JFK was in office?  How he took the time from his international speaking circuit to speak about his cherished memories of my father at his funeral?  

Anyone who knew Frank would say, “how he made me feel”.  My mind flitted back to when he was the keynote speaker at a conference in Houston many years ago. His charismatic persuasiveness made the least touchy feel-y of executives break through their defenses, hold hands and bellow, “this little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine!” with Frank leading the chorus. It was amazing to witness his impact on others. 

Moving through the crowd toward his hotel, he cut a swath of smiles and satisfied nods as we crossed the conference center floor.  Why each hotel staffer was told how they personally made a positive difference to his stay!  Even  Carmela, the housekeeper.  Frank exclaimed, “why, my wife’s name is Carmel. I’m on my way home to see her…let me kiss you on the cheek for that,” with that Irish twinkle in his eye. Carmela  and her co-workers beamed as he was whisked away in his limousine.    

Did it take any extra time or effort for Frank to be observant of those lives he touched? Maybe, a little.  Yet, every time he found the “light” in us, his grew brighter.  And Frank, I, for one, am going to miss that “little light of yours” that still burns very brightly in my heart.

Step into the middle of this board room conversation …”I learned my wife doesn’t care about getting gifts or flowers, she wants me to help out around the house. Oh, not my girlfriend, if I don’t tell her how special she is to me all the time, she thinks something is wrong!” After several female board members piped in about what their beliefs were about their husbands and partners preferences, someone suggesting reading   The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman.

Being a consultant who works with companies with people conflict, I pondered on the “appreciation languages” of my consulting client’s employees…were they hearing the right language?  

How many times had I interviewed employees who were starved for recognition from their manager? Research had reported countless times that money was not a motivator, so what could an employer do?  Most look to books for an idea list of recognition methods, without any idea of what would speak to the individual. 

If Dr. Chapman’s ideas work for love, how about for business?

With my apologies to Dr. Chapman, how about a quiz which flags the primary way our employees want to be recognized at work? 

APPRECIATION LANGUAGE QUIZ

Select your number 1 and number 2 preferred method of appreciation from the choices below.

I feel most valued when a person/manager/co-worker:

1.  ______Tells me how grateful they are for me and the things I do for them or the company
2.  ______ Gives me their focused attention without any interruptions
3.  ______Brings me a gift or other tangible item of appreciation
4.  ______Pitches in to help me, perhaps taking over something that I’m behind on or find routine or boring
5.  ______Expresses positive feelings through acceptable physical contact- like a pat on the back, high-5 or knuckle bump

According to Dr. Gary Chapman’s work, there are 5 Languages.  Learn which top 2 languages make you feel the most valued.

1 = Words of Affirmation

2 = Quality Time

3 = Receiving Gifts

4 = Acts of Service

5 = Physical Touch

This week observe how others are expressing appreciation toward you and others.  Which “language” makes you feel most valued and what happens when someone uses your least preferred language?

Try giving this simple quiz to your employees.  Start speaking their language, feed them with the right kind of appreciation and you’ll notice  productivity soar!

A guy who viewed himself as one of the most laid-back “happy go-lucky” executives in the world asked himself this question upon recuperating in the hospital from an unexpected bypass heart operation. How could the ticker lose its tock now, when it he had survived the early pressures of the infancy days of FEDEX losing $1million a month and  when Colonel Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken threatened to go on the Johnny Carson show and blow the new CEO out of the water because he planned to change the formula of the gravy!

Frank shares his reflections in: 

PERFECTION VS. EXCELLENCE

Perfection is being right.

Excellence is willing to be wrong.

Perfection is fear.

Excellence is taking a risk.

Perfection is anger and frustration.

Excellence is powerful.

Perfection is control.

Excellence is spontaneous.

Perfection is judgement.

Excellence is accepting.

Perfection is taking.

Excellence is giving.

Perfection is doubt.

Excellence is confidence.

Perfection is pressure.

Excellence is natural.

Perfection is the destination.

Excellence is the journey.

Written by Frank Maguire 

The original Senior Vice President of Industrial Relations for Federal Express, Frank Maguire is credited by
CEO, Fred Smith, as creating the corporate culture that resulted in FEDEX being named “The Top Corporation of the Decade” by Fortune Magazine.

Eight Critical Questions    

Knowing the answers to these eight questions, will save you a lot of heartache if you have a serious contender for your top job or if you have someone testing if “the grass is greener on the other side”.  These can be used in a pre-interview situation or be repeated within the first interview to gauge the reaction of the applicant. 

1. What type of commute are you accustomed to?
2. What are your current circumstances which have made you consider a new position?
3. What are the reasons you’ve left position x, y and z?
4. When did you start your search?
5. At what interviewing stage are you at with other job opportunities?
6. Have you received any job offers? Many applicants indicate they have job offers when they only have interviewed or applied to positions online.
7. Have you ever accepted a position in good faith and found that when you turned in your resignation, your company made you a counter-offer?
8. Follow-up questions for a Yes answer: How lucrative was the offer? How did you handle it with the company who had just hired you? In the long-run, were you happy you made that decision?

 If question 1 is asked of an applicant,  who “needs a job”, if a commute of 25 miles to work daily will work for them, the answer will usually be YES!  “That’s no problem!”  A question framed to be answered either yes or no, does not give you information that reflects past behavior.    When the employee quits at 6 months, the exit interviewer will ask the reason for leaving. The answer most likely will be…”the drive is too long”. Could that turnover have been avoided?

Asking about the applicant’s current and past reasons for leaving a position can reveal a number of characteristics about the applicant.  Remember, we routinely may ask this question hundreds of times, yet to the applicant this is very personal.  Be sure to ask and then listen, without interrupting.  Encouraging others by nodding or repeating phrases can help those struggling to collect their thoughts or encourage a more complete response.

 Their answer will be an immediate indicator of how well they organize and communicate thoughts regarding their personal decisions, values, and beliefs about their past performance, business relationships and company culture.  Your position may require good communication skills and presentation, so you’ve had your first glimpse at their skill level.

 Have you ever called your favorite candidate back for a second interview only to find out they just accepted another position?  Put some boundaries around your expectations before you become too hopeful about any one candidate.  By knowing up front how long they’ve searched and if they have any real or potential job offers, you can manage your interviewing schedule and expectations more effectively…and save yourself from a broken heart when you’ve fallen in love with that top candidate that was only “testing the waters.”

“We’ve done lots of research over the past three years, and we’ve found that leaders who have the best coaching skills have better business results.”

V.P. of Global Executive & Organizational Development, IBM -The Dallas Morning News, August 2005

We often hear about setting the example in leadership.  Sometimes it is just taking the “high road” and reacting to a situation with integrity and as much dignity as you can muster.

If you haven’t taken a look at yourself recently, take this simple self-check of 15 coaching behaviors.   Use this scale: 5 = always, 4=usually, 3=sometimes, 2=seldom and 1=never. If you are brave enough, let your trainee rate you.  It may be just the wake-up call you need to regenerate positive momentum in that relationship.

1. _____Set high expectations
2. _____Offer challenging ideas
3. _____Help build self-confidence
4. _____Encourage professional behavior
5. _____Offer friendship
6. _____Confront negative behaviors
7. _____Confront negative attitudes
8. _____Listen to what is said
9. _____Recognize what is not being said
10. _____Add specific activities that you believe would help
11. _____Offer wise counsel
12. _____Provide timely feedback
13. _____Provide positive recognition
14. _____Share personal experiences when appropriate
15. _____Demonstrate care

If you scored 60 – 75, write a book!  You are doing it right and people seek you out for advice and counsel.

If you scored 45-59, share this rating scale with someone you coach and ask where you can improve.  Ask how you can demonstrate the coaching behavior they need from you and what they can do if you forget to do it again.

30-44, get yourself a coach who can help you develop these behaviors.  It will contribute greatly to the success of the group you lead and your own personal contentment.

15-29, what’s your employee turnover rate?  Unless, your employees have enlisted, they are not going to stick around very long!