Pat Dolen

Posts Tagged ‘leadership’

Step into the middle of this board room conversation …”I learned my wife doesn’t care about getting gifts or flowers, she wants me to help out around the house. Oh, not my girlfriend, if I don’t tell her how special she is to me all the time, she thinks something is wrong!” After several female board members piped in about what their beliefs were about their husbands and partners preferences, someone suggesting reading   The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman.

Being a consultant who works with companies with people conflict, I pondered on the “appreciation languages” of my consulting client’s employees…were they hearing the right language?  

How many times had I interviewed employees who were starved for recognition from their manager? Research had reported countless times that money was not a motivator, so what could an employer do?  Most look to books for an idea list of recognition methods, without any idea of what would speak to the individual. 

If Dr. Chapman’s ideas work for love, how about for business?

With my apologies to Dr. Chapman, how about a quiz which flags the primary way our employees want to be recognized at work? 

APPRECIATION LANGUAGE QUIZ

Select your number 1 and number 2 preferred method of appreciation from the choices below.

I feel most valued when a person/manager/co-worker:

1.  ______Tells me how grateful they are for me and the things I do for them or the company
2.  ______ Gives me their focused attention without any interruptions
3.  ______Brings me a gift or other tangible item of appreciation
4.  ______Pitches in to help me, perhaps taking over something that I’m behind on or find routine or boring
5.  ______Expresses positive feelings through acceptable physical contact- like a pat on the back, high-5 or knuckle bump

According to Dr. Gary Chapman’s work, there are 5 Languages.  Learn which top 2 languages make you feel the most valued.

1 = Words of Affirmation

2 = Quality Time

3 = Receiving Gifts

4 = Acts of Service

5 = Physical Touch

This week observe how others are expressing appreciation toward you and others.  Which “language” makes you feel most valued and what happens when someone uses your least preferred language?

Try giving this simple quiz to your employees.  Start speaking their language, feed them with the right kind of appreciation and you’ll notice  productivity soar!

When I was a young child in the ’50s in New Orleans, I’d watch TV every night just to get a glimpse of our friend, Frank Maguire, reporting the news and weather. I’m told I was quite “mad” at Frank that he didn’t wave back. Frank still laughs about that one.  He’s gone on to accomplish some pretty impressive public things, from serving in the White House with JFK to being the VP of PR for Colonel Sander’s when he was a regular on the Johnny Carson show.  Even as an international speaker inspiring leaders all over the world, Frank’s ease of jumping on a platform to share his story as a founding exec of FEDEX  is conducted with grace and encouragement.  Frank has inspired me in a big way.

What occurred to me today, as the Texas Women Who Rock event  (See Texas Women Who Rock Breakfast Promo) quickly approaches, is how many women and men, who have inspired me, became role models for my aspirations.  Two of my co-presenters have touched my life in an inspirational way and now I am rocking with them!

Donna Fisher, my co-presenter and speaker, author and entrepreneur is going to share how she’s transformed personally and professionally over her career.  My first memory of Donna is when I was in the corporate world almost 20 years ago and recommended her to my company President.   It takes guts to get up there and expose yourself to a group of people who may not “get” you.  Thinking back, I still remember how the President marveled at how quickly she made a connection.   

Karen McCullough and I have fun memories of meeting when she first started her speaking business.  We discussed networking and building referral business…a hot topic of the day.  Not knowing it at the time, I referred her to the first speaking client she ever had!   Attending one of her events a few years later, I appreciated why my client liked her so much…she was great and I was inspired…still am.  

We have enjoyed telling many friends that eight years later I walked into the National Speaker’s Association’s Pro-Track Class and guess who was the Leader? Karen!!  So, yes, your inspiration can become your aspiration. 

Come join us Friday, September 25th by REGISTERING HERE.   

Who has been your inspiration?

“We’ve done lots of research over the past three years, and we’ve found that leaders who have the best coaching skills have better business results.”

V.P. of Global Executive & Organizational Development, IBM -The Dallas Morning News, August 2005

We often hear about setting the example in leadership.  Sometimes it is just taking the “high road” and reacting to a situation with integrity and as much dignity as you can muster.

If you haven’t taken a look at yourself recently, take this simple self-check of 15 coaching behaviors.   Use this scale: 5 = always, 4=usually, 3=sometimes, 2=seldom and 1=never. If you are brave enough, let your trainee rate you.  It may be just the wake-up call you need to regenerate positive momentum in that relationship.

1. _____Set high expectations
2. _____Offer challenging ideas
3. _____Help build self-confidence
4. _____Encourage professional behavior
5. _____Offer friendship
6. _____Confront negative behaviors
7. _____Confront negative attitudes
8. _____Listen to what is said
9. _____Recognize what is not being said
10. _____Add specific activities that you believe would help
11. _____Offer wise counsel
12. _____Provide timely feedback
13. _____Provide positive recognition
14. _____Share personal experiences when appropriate
15. _____Demonstrate care

If you scored 60 – 75, write a book!  You are doing it right and people seek you out for advice and counsel.

If you scored 45-59, share this rating scale with someone you coach and ask where you can improve.  Ask how you can demonstrate the coaching behavior they need from you and what they can do if you forget to do it again.

30-44, get yourself a coach who can help you develop these behaviors.  It will contribute greatly to the success of the group you lead and your own personal contentment.

15-29, what’s your employee turnover rate?  Unless, your employees have enlisted, they are not going to stick around very long!