Have you heard this comment lately? If only they would ______, things around here would be better.
The fact is-most people would rather blame their circumstances or other people, then consider changing themselves to improve their circumstances.
Recently, I worked with a group where each team member confidentially claimed in one way or another that…” I get along with most people, except for ‘so and so’.” The statement was followed with a wistful or a grudging version of “if only they would______. Basically, “change”. Why is it so easy to point out the faults of others and not even look at how we can work on our own character?
When this conversation topic arises, I ask if the team member is familiar with the “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen R. Covey. If they reply “yes”, we attempt to look at this person from a different perspective-the perspective of understanding. We can pay lip service to “seek first to understand, then to be understood”, yet when we have to live with that attitude for a day, week or month-it demonstrates how willing we really are to follow that suggestion. Why? Because it seems to ask us to absorb the “annoying behavior” and just not react. Yet, how effective is it, if we are not changing?
Consider this approach: If something about someone’s personality is bothering you, remember the adage, “if you spot it-you got it!” Ouch.
So challenge yourself the next time you notice yourself inwardly cringing when someone else does or says something disagreeable (to you). Before you recount the drama of the action, question yourself about what is the opposite trait to the one you criticized. Then, become that positive trait. With practice, you will become a much happier individual and when you spot it again-smile to yourself and say -“I no longer got it!